Tuesday, December 31, 2019


Happy New Year!

My maternal grandfather, Edward Kilcrin.  I have a vivid memory of him in about 1971, driving his big, new convertible, with his hair slicked back and his shades. Instead of reading us stories at bedtime, he made them up. And he sneaked us out for ice cream without finishing our dinner. He was a brilliant man. Fluent in five languages, a writer, poet and philosopher, and gourmet cook. And probably why I like drunk, moody Irishmen.  




Thursday, December 26, 2019

   It's so delightful, to be left alone the day after Christmas, in our heavily-partied house, with nothing to do but restore order, restore beauty.
   This is so
   Not the me
   I thought I'd grow
   Up to be.

Time to crank up the music and work magic........ 💪
My beautiful girls.   💖





Tuesday, December 24, 2019

   It's eleven am, on Christmas Eve. Tonight all our kids and a couple of their friends will be descending on the house for our annual dinner and presents. So far I've made a pan of bread pudding and two pumpkin pies. Got two pans of pie cookies in the oven, and three loaves of whole wheat bread rising. Resting for a few minutes, before the grand baby comes over, and I start on the rest of the goodies - Zuppa Toscano, a big salad, two pans of a wonderful Midwestern comfort food dish whose name I don't know, we just named it after the lady who gave my mother the recipe a millennium ago. And Snickerdoodles, chocolate-orange bars, and maybe toffee.
   Whew.

Thursday, December 12, 2019

   I'm memorizing Edna St Vincent Millay's 'Renascence'. This is not easy, because sometimes a passage I'm working on will leave me so full of emotion that I have to wait before I do any more.
   I seem to be stumbling upon really powerful pieces of literature to memorize.
   Life is good.

Thursday, December 5, 2019

This is no fun, and no joke. This is what I'm dealing with right now. It can happen to anyone, though there are factors that contribute to it.

Overview

Sleep apnea is a potentially serious sleep disorder in which breathing repeatedly stops and starts. If you snore loudly and feel tired even after a full night's sleep, you might have sleep apnea.
The main types of sleep apnea are:
  • Obstructive sleep apnea, the more common form that occurs when throat muscles relax
  • Central sleep apnea, which occurs when your brain doesn't send proper signals to the muscles that control breathing
  • Complex sleep apnea syndrome, also known as treatment-emergent central sleep apnea, which occurs when someone has both obstructive sleep apnea and central sleep apnea
If you think you might have sleep apnea, see your doctor. Treatment can ease your symptoms and might help prevent heart problems and other complications.

Symptoms

The signs and symptoms of obstructive and central sleep apneas overlap, sometimes making it difficult to determine which type you have. The most common signs and symptoms of obstructive and central sleep apneas include:
  • Loud snoring
  • Episodes in which you stop breathing during sleep — which would be reported by another person
  • Gasping for air during sleep
  • Awakening with a dry mouth
  • Morning headache
  • Difficulty staying asleep (insomnia)
  • Excessive daytime sleepiness (hypersomnia)
  • Difficulty paying attention while awake
  • Irritability

When to see a doctor

Loud snoring can indicate a potentially serious problem, but not everyone who has sleep apnea snores. Talk to your doctor if you have signs or symptoms of sleep apnea. Ask your doctor about any sleep problem that leaves you fatigued, sleepy and irritable.

Causes

Obstructive sleep apnea

This occurs when the muscles in the back of your throat relax. These muscles support the soft palate, the triangular piece of tissue hanging from the soft palate (uvula), the tonsils, the side walls of the throat and the tongue.
When the muscles relax, your airway narrows or closes as you breathe in. You can't get enough air, which can lower the oxygen level in your blood. Your brain senses your inability to breathe and briefly rouses you from sleep so that you can reopen your airway. This awakening is usually so brief that you don't remember it.
You might snort, choke or gasp. This pattern can repeat itself five to 30 times or more each hour, all night, impairing your ability to reach the deep, restful phases of sleep.

Central sleep apnea

This less common form of sleep apnea occurs when your brain fails to transmit signals to your breathing muscles. This means that you make no effort to breathe for a short period. You might awaken with shortness of breath or have a difficult time getting to sleep or staying asleep.

Risk factors

Sleep apnea can affect anyone, even children. But certain factors increase your risk.

Obstructive sleep apnea

Factors that increase the risk of this form of sleep apnea include:
  • Excess weight. Obesity greatly increases the risk of sleep apnea. Fat deposits around your upper airway can obstruct your breathing.
  • Neck circumference. People with thicker necks might have narrower airways.
  • A narrowed airway. You might have inherited a narrow throat. Tonsils or adenoids also can enlarge and block the airway, particularly in children.
  • Being male. Men are two to three times more likely to have sleep apnea than are women. However, women increase their risk if they're overweight, and their risk also appears to rise after menopause.
  • Being older. Sleep apnea occurs significantly more often in older adults.
  • Family history. Having family members with sleep apnea might increase your risk.
  • Use of alcohol, sedatives or tranquilizers. These substances relax the muscles in your throat, which can worsen obstructive sleep apnea.
  • Smoking. Smokers are three times more likely to have obstructive sleep apnea than are people who've never smoked. Smoking can increase the amount of inflammation and fluid retention in the upper airway.
  • Nasal congestion. If you have difficulty breathing through your nose — whether from an anatomical problem or allergies — you're more likely to develop obstructive sleep apnea.

Central sleep apnea

Risk factors for this form of sleep apnea include:
  • Being older. Middle-aged and older people have a higher risk of central sleep apnea.
  • Being male. Central sleep apnea is more common in men than it is in women.
  • Heart disorders. Having congestive heart failure increases the risk.
  • Using narcotic pain medications. Opioid medications, especially long-acting ones such as methadone, increase the risk of central sleep apnea.
  • Stroke. Having had a stroke increases your risk of central sleep apnea or treatment-emergent central sleep apnea.

Complications

Sleep apnea is a serious medical condition. Complications can include:
  • Daytime fatigue. The repeated awakenings associated with sleep apnea make normal, restorative sleep impossible, making severe daytime drowsiness, fatigue and irritability likely.
    You might have difficulty concentrating and find yourself falling asleep at work, while watching TV or even when driving. People with sleep apnea have an increased risk of motor vehicle and workplace accidents.
    You might also feel quick-tempered, moody or depressed. Children and adolescents with sleep apnea might perform poorly in school or have behavior problems.
  • High blood pressure or heart problems. Sudden drops in blood oxygen levels that occur during sleep apnea increase blood pressure and strain the cardiovascular system. Having obstructive sleep apnea increases your risk of high blood pressure (hypertension).
    Obstructive sleep apnea might also increase your risk of recurrent heart attack, stroke and abnormal heartbeats, such as atrial fibrillation. If you have heart disease, multiple episodes of low blood oxygen (hypoxia or hypoxemia) can lead to sudden death from an irregular heartbeat.
  • Type 2 diabetes. Having sleep apnea increases your risk of developing insulin resistance and type 2 diabetes.
  • Metabolic syndrome. This disorder, which includes high blood pressure, abnormal cholesterol levels, high blood sugar and an increased waist circumference, is linked to a higher risk of heart disease.
  • Complications with medications and surgery. Obstructive sleep apnea is also a concern with certain medications and general anesthesia. People with sleep apnea might be more likely to have complications after major surgery because they're prone to breathing problems, especially when sedated and lying on their backs.
    Before you have surgery, tell your doctor about your sleep apnea and how it's being treated.
  • Liver problems. People with sleep apnea are more likely to have abnormal results on liver function tests, and their livers are more likely to show signs of scarring (nonalcoholic fatty liver disease).
  • Sleep-deprived partners. Loud snoring can keep anyone who sleeps near you from getting good rest. It's not uncommon for a partner to have to go to another room, or even to another floor of the house, to be able to sleep.

Wednesday, December 4, 2019

Where my son Rob works. Sweet, to be surrounded by beauty every day, and especially at Christmas.
https://driskillhotel.com




Monday, December 2, 2019

I LOVE this movie, love this song. Louis Prima is without equal. 
The other night this song was quoted in a poem read at The Spoken Word, and it struck me differently than it it ever has before. ....... The common belief is that technology is what separates us from the animals. The ability to control, modify the world around us, to suit our needs and pleasures. 
"What I desire is man's red fire, so I can be like you."
I think this is so very wrong. I think it badly cheapens who we are. 
Think about it. Are we just smarter than average apes?
God help us.

In the meantime..... Oh, MAN, what a beat! 😎


   Sorry for the silence, Peeps, I've been in the Real World, giving thanks with those I love and working on getting my health under control. Sometimes one of those can work against the other. haha.
   My Suicide performance came off beautifully, and now I've started memorizing Renascence, by the same amazing lady. This might be my favorite by her, and that's saying something.
   Getting ready to get ready for Christmas. I have a certain disdain for the habit people have developed for starting with the glitz and glimmer of the season right after Halloween. I think it wears out the specialness of it. And I'm saddened by the fact that so far in the media, I haven't heard a word about the thing we're supposed to be celebrating. It's like trying to celebrate the Fourth of July without ever hearing the words America or Independence or Freedom. Silly and sad. In a week or so, I'll get my little Charlie Brown Christmas tree and buy a few presents. Not a lot to spare on those, but those are not what it's about anyway. I'm glad we have better things to spend our money on right now, all I want is the family together. And lots of fun for the Baby Girl.